5 People I Hate Now That I’m A Dad

I like to think that I’m a pretty easy going type of fella who doesn’t let much get to me.

I’ve realised though that this part of me died, or at least left home, when Baby L disembarked the mothership nearly five months ago.

Whatever the reasons, I’m now more annoyed, wound up and pissed off than I used to be, which is a bit of a problem when there are so many muppets in the world purposefully trying to aggravate me on a daily basis.

I either didn’t use to care, or more likely, didn’t realise that these people were annoying until I became a dad and was required to go different places and do different things to that of a childless, married man.

I therefore want to share with you the different groups of people that really get on my tits, partly as anger therapy and partly to get you to stop being annoying if you are one of these people!

  • People Who Use Parent And Child Spaces:  The good folk at supermarkets, shopping centres etc had the great idea of creating parking spaces for the sole use of parents with children. Often wider than your normal space and closer to the entrance, the clue really is in the name, but still, some plebs decide that they have the right to park there even if they don’t have a child. I was raised to be polite, be courteous and respect rules, so I just don’t get what goes through people’s heads when a sole shopper purposefully chooses to park somewhere which is designed for someone else. There’s nothing more annoying than waiting for a parent and child space to become available or choosing to park somewhere else because there isn’t enough space, only to see some trumped up bloke in a suit return to his Audi parked where it shouldn’t be. What a dickhead.

 

  • People Who Park On The Curb:  People who live near us have decided that it is acceptable to park half on the curb and half off the curb with their car. Pretty harmless, isn’t it? No, not really when I’m expected to walk in the middle of the road with my wife and little baby because we can’t physically get passed your shitmobile which you’ve selfishly parked on the pavement. A pavement is for pedestrians, a road is for a car, you massive imbecile. If I was in charge, I’d put a blanket ban on pavement parking in order to protect those people with a pushchair or in a wheelchair etc who have little desire to participate in what can only be likened to the obstacle course from Wipeout.

F*ck Ecopass! Crazy parking in Milan!stepaganini via Compfight

  • People Who Use Lifts, But Don’t Need To:  When you have a pushchair, shops become a more difficult place to visit. If it’s not the weaving in between racks of clothes which are too closely situated together, then it is a (sometimes) endless search for a lift to get to other floors. We all know that lift designers intentionally built them to go as slow as possible, so when they do arrive, what is more annoying than waiting in line or being unable to enter because of other people using the lift when they don’t need to. Again, stop being selfish and putting other people out when you have an option of using the stairs or escalator when they don’t. Obviously, those with disabilities which you can or can’t see should get priority, but I shouldn’t need to wait because of the three fat women too lazy to walk up the stairs or the hyperactive kids who think that a lift is a new game. (P.S. for anyone who says being fat is a disability, it’s not, you’re just fat).

 

  • People Who Don’t Clean Up After Themselves:  I’ll set the scene. You are in the supermarket. You’ve just heard a massive, squelchy fart come from the babies direction and realise they’ve crapped their pants. You head over to the baby change facility and are relieved to see that it is vacant. You open the door, but are immediately struck by the pig sty scene you find in front of you. Used nappies on the side, wet wipes hanging out of the bin and questionable stains on the changing mat. You’ve then got to spend time trying to make the place as clean and usable as possible whilst your little one festers in her own waste. I appreciate that these facilities exist and understand that they can’t be kept spotless, but it doesn’t take much to put used nappies into a bin or wipe up your child’s faeces which are strewn across the mirror before you depart. Life would be so much better if everyone was that bit more considerate, but instead we live in a world wear people use and abuse these public facilities without giving a seconds thought to the person that next walks through the door.

Baby Changing Table for Boys Kevin Trotman via Compfight

  • People Without Kids: That’s right. All you people out there who haven’t created life before, I hate you. I hate that your life is simple. I hate that your life doesn’t revolve around a milk-drinking leach. I hate that you don’t have to take nappies and wet wipes with you wherever you go. I hate that you can have a solid night’s sleep. But more importantly, I hate that you don’t understand what life with a baby is like and that you try to understand but fail miserably. Saying things like “It’s only a stage, I’m sure it’ll pass”, “Oh, she hardly ever cries, does she” or “You’re looking a bit tired today”, isn’t helpful and will more than likely result in you experiencing physical pain. Just wait until you have a baby and can experience our pain. Then I’m going to recite the things that you said to me whilst I enjoy the fact that you have bags under your eyes and baby sick on your shirt. Just you wait.

So, that’s the five groups of people that I’ve realised that I hate now that I’ve become a dad. Does any of this ring true with you? Is there anyone you started hating once you became a parent? Let me know in the comments below so that we can bitch and whine about it together.

Featured image by Grant Hutchinson via Compfight

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  • Excellent post, and I agree with them all 🙂 especially the 2nd one I have had stand up rows with people who block footpaths with their cars (and called the police on a few as well). I’m so tempted to just walk over the top of cars parked like this!

    • Thanks Ashley! Pleased that I’m not the only one who is aggravated by parked cars – I’ve never argued or called the cops though, so it sounds like I need to get some tips off you 🙂 I’ve been tempted to attach spikes to the pushchair to scratch cars on the way passed – think a pushchair version of robot wars!

  • Emily (Www.mamaramblings.com)

    Great post, so glad I’m not the only one that has discovered all these new things sent to try us! As well as non-parents I’d like to add parents to the list too- the judgy, showy-off ones who think it’s ok to say things that make you feel like you’re doing a rubbish job! Boo to them!

    • Ooooh I like that and agree. They are so annoying – the ones who just talk about their baby and make them sound like they’re amazing. There is someone at a baby class we go to who seriously claimed that her baby can talk and can sign the words to all of the songs (the baby is 10 weeks old!). I should have just saved time and written “everyone” when writing this post 🙂

  • Larry

    You definitely look at life differently when you are a parent. The world matters because your child will grow up in it.
    That’s nice that they have such parking spaces where you are. I’ve never heard of them here where I live.

    • Very true Larry and love your quote – “the world matters because your child will grow up in it”. Ah ok, I assumed parent and child spaces were a widespread thing – here in the UK they are pretty much at every supermarket and a lot of multi story car parks – perhaps you can steal the idea and implement it wherever you live – you’ll be rich! 🙂

  • Mrs H

    I agree with all of these. But especially the second. I often have to wheel Little Miss H onto the A2 to walk down town. It scares the hell out of me. Can I also add that I hate people who breath cigarette smoke in the faces of young children? Hugs Mrs H xxx

    • Great – reassuring to know I’m making sense and not just a moody old man! So dangerous having to go onto the roads isn’t it. Yes, you can add those people – having never smoked (apart from the odd 1 or 2 if drunk when I was younger), I’m sure that becoming a parent makes you more aware of cigs!

  • leandra bramham

    Great list! I’m sure every parent would agree with you. I particularly love it when parents of 15 year olds use parent and child spaces! 😉

    #thelist

    • Thanks. Yeh that’s annoying – I guess *technically* it is parent and child, but the same could be said for a 60 year old woman and her 40 year old daughter! Gits!

      • Monica Gilbert

        I think some of the signs at stores specify the children have to be under 12. I take to mean that if you don’t have a booster/car seat, you need to park somewhere else. I always find it really annoying when there’s no sign of a car seat. Even if you’re sleep deprived, there’s no excuse for taking a spot from someone with a child. I hate having to walk across parking lots with my really active 2 year old. It’s an exercise in fear (for me, not her).

  • I HATE it when people park on the curb!!! Perhaps it’s time to start leaving a nice soiled (and toxic) nappy on the bonnets of these cars. It probably wouldn’t change things but it would make us feel a little better y think?

    • Good idea. Add a little note saying something like “next time this will be through your letterbox”. I’ve already said it in a comment below, but I’m planning on adding spikes to the pushchair wheels to scratch cars in the way 🙂

  • Mamavsteacher

    I am completely with you on the parents and baby spaces… the other day I had to park in a normal space whilst a mother and ‘child’ used the last space… The ‘child’ was the driver! #TheList

    • Haha, how annoying. People do know how to take the piss don’t they!

  • Adventures of a Novice Mum

    Lol, quite a list you’ve got there. I used to assum that it was okay to park in the parent / children parking spaces at my local supermarket even if I wasn’t with my child because I have a parking permit for it. This was before I read mummyofboygirltwins’ post about how it made her feel when those without children parked there. Well, it sure got me thinking! I actually haven’t used the parent / children parking space without my child, but I definitely know not to use it if my child isn’t with me! #TheList

    • Thanks. We all appreciate that you don’t do that now haha 🙂

  • Mummy Fever

    Brilliant! Love this and couldn’t agree more … especially the parent and child spaces! Drives me crazy

  • Totally agree with all five! But people without children parking in parent/child spaces really makes me see red… I am tempted to scratch my pram along pavement parked cars (I wonder if I would be allowed to attached spikes to my pram for this purpose hehe)

    • I think that’s allowed. I have elbowed a car on the way past before – probably hurt me more than the car though!

  • I’ve actually told people that they have forgotten their child when I’ve seen them parking in child spaces without a kid. Obviously this is after I have squeezed my son out of his car seat after not being able to park anywhere that I can open the door fully.

    • Crazy isn’t it. The worst is when the spaces are too small so you have to let people out of the car before you even park. I’ve not said anything before, just given them evils!

  • You Baby Me Mummy

    Yes x 5! They all do my head it! Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

  • Emz

    Ha, totally agree with all of these! Parent and child car parking spaces a particular rant fave now!

  • Fiona Chick

    I’ve actually written about some of these things myself. Well, just the parking, really (but there were various other car-related issues there). TOTALLY with you on the inappropriate elevator use. And the parked cars on pavements have also been a huge bone of contention for me. Thankfully I don’t have to endure many changing rooms, because I rarely leave the house. And most of the people I know have children. I really enjoyed this post – thanks!

    • Thanks Fiona. Pleased to hear that I’m not alone in these massive annoyances!

  • playathometeacher

    Haha I just laughed as I read through this list. I have had similar moans about the people using the parent&baby spaces (I genuinely thought I was not going to be able to get the car seat back in my car once as I had to park in a normal space and the kind people either side of me parked SO close) and about the lifts (I have no choice but to use them with a pushchair… annoys the hell out of me when people who I am sure could use the stairs DO NOT hold the door as they see you approach. They make eye contact as the doors close before you get to the lift. Made me actually rage once when I had only stepped out of the way to let a wheelchair pass and they let the door close so I couldn’t get in…. grr). Wow I feel better now – sorry for that little rant on your post! #thelist

    • Not at all, feel free to rant away – that’s basically what I did during this post haha! Yes, the eye contact is very annoying! Pleased you could identify with it and cheers for stopping by 🙂

  • Merlinda Little

    I dont like people who uses the parent parking and they don’t even have car seat inside their car! pavement parking too! Even if I don’t have buggy walking with a child (Usually on our school runs) on the road cuz the pavement is used are parking is not safe! #pocolo

    • Exactly – not just about people with a pushchair or those less able, a pavement is for pedestrians not cars! Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  • Andy Davis

    I’m completely with you on the lift thing and people without children, especially if they complain of being tired or having a a bad night’s sleep. Seriously, no idea how lucky they are.

    • Haha exactly. The only silver lining is that if they have kids, they’ll soon be made to eat their own words! 🙂

  • Emma Hausfrau

    Glad it’s not just me who hates almost everyone! Share the hate, that’s what I say! Found you via #Pocolo

    • That’s a great motto – “share the hate”. Yeah, I’ve always been annoyed with people, but more so now I’m a dad 🙂

  • Victoria Welton

    I was SO looking forward to reading this when I saw you link up with this title – and you didn’t disappoint. Nodded all the way through! Thank you for linking to #PoCoLo 🙂

    • Aw bless, thanks! Pleased you enjoyed and could relate 🙂

  • martyn

    What a great list!!! And every thing I would whole heartedly agree with!!
    I have a slight annoyance with the parent parking as all the ones in our area depict a woman and child on the sign….The amount of hate I get for parking in them…I’m sick of explaining the term parent.
    I think this is a great post….Although slightly worried with all the agreement…

    • Thanks Martyn! Pleased you agree and wish to join my hate revolution 🙂 Ah do they, I’ve not looked at the sign too closely, but I can totally agree that that would be very annoying!

  • This made me laugh-I love that you hate everyone that doesn’t have to carry wet wipes around with them! Not sure I can live without mine now! Bloody loved this post! #bestpostoftheweek

    • Thanks HoMu – yeah I pretty much hate everyone, even those who do carry wet wipes! 🙂

  • donna

    I totally agree,I hate people who park in OUR spaces. Ive even left notes on windscreend asking where there child is,and my husband has confronted some people before. I hate people! Lol

    • Pleased you agree Donna! I’d never have dreamed of parking in parent and child spaces when I was babyless, so can’t fathom why others do it! I hate people too! 🙂

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  • Mama MKDPR

    The lift and the parking thing drives me bananas. And at am known to mutter about it. Audibly.
    #fridayfrolics

    • Ooh I do plenty of muttering too! Although most is in my head 🙂

  • Lisa

    I didn’t realise that I hate all of these people until I read this. I once raced someone to a parent and child parking space, she found another and then got out without a child. I was fuming! I don’t understand why they think they have a right to do it, I mean it’s just blinkin common courtesy!
    I have to say though, the wet wipe thing – there are many times I have been out without the little one and all of his baggage and have needed a wet wipe. So I say, they don’t know what they are missing out on! #FridayFrolics

    • I can imagine you were fuming! I hope you gave her a good old glare! Very true, wet wipes are pretty good and have wiped loads of different baby related stuff off my clothes!

  • Suzanne

    Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes – thank you for reading my mind and then posting it! Made me laugh and can I also add ‘people who take up two parking spaces in a car park’ to the list. Don’t even get me started on that one… #Fridayfrolics

    • Haha, pleased you liked! Yes, that’s very annoying too – I commented to the missus about that just the other day! 🙂

  • Charlotte @ Educating Elsa

    Ahh I love this. I wrote an almost identical post a while ago. Damn those curb parkers!!

    • Ah, good to hear – do you have a link? Yep, hate the curb parkers!

  • Absolutely Prabulous

    Yelling at my screen in agreement! Can. You. Hear. Me?

    • Haha, I can’t hear much over my swearing and moaning 🙂

  • Haha brilliant!

  • The last one swung it. They are a special type of people. I used to be one, I feel if I met me, I would be able to hate myself in a whole new way. Funny as F post.

    • Thanks! Haha, funny how you change when you have kids isn’t it. It’s a bit of an eye opener.

  • Super Busy Mum

    A milk-drinking leach! OMG! hahahahaha!! Brilliant post.

  • Jeremy Barnes

    I find myself hating the people who used to think I was such an asshole, but think that I’ve changed now that I have a kid. No, I’m still an asshole because I don’t like you, I’m just nice to my kid because I like her

  • Carlyakamummy

    Hahaha Im with you on all of these. The parent and child bay hoggers are the worst. If you took up a disabled bay, you would be shot! #brilliantblogposts

  • Absolutely Prabulous

    Back again. #brilliantblogposts this time. Still made me laugh. Erm…if that’s okay with you and not going to get you all annoyed again.

  • Cracking list, although I’m not sure I’d put number 5 in there….then again! Loved the post and I was laughing all the way thru thinking ‘yup, that’s right’ Oh how life has changed now that we have children!
    #BrilliantBlogPost

    • Thanks! Yep, the last one is a contentious one, but I bunged it it there as I must have had a particularly bad experience with a childless person that day! 🙂

  • Rob Carew

    Great list. I was was already “Johny old man” who had a general disdain for people before I had kids. It’s gotten worse since children. #brilliantblogposts

  • Hee heeee this is really funny and very accurate! Oh for a solid nights sleep…! Mim x #brilliantblogposts

  • john adams

    People parking on curbs…man, I’dloev to be able to summon a drone strike to deal with these individuals. #BrilliantBlogPosts

  • I don’t think you hate those who haven’t had kids I think you are jealous! Hahahahaha I know I am. To overcome it I have made friends with no children and I use and abuse them so I can get sleep and have a life vicariously through them. Mel xx #brilliantblogposts

    • Haha – there’s a fine line between hate and jealousy I think. Ah, sounds clever, I might have to copy 🙂

  • Lara Miles

    This is amusing and so true! What is it with people who leave nappies, wipes, tissue etc all over baby changing rooms? Who are they? And why do baby changing rooms always have a stuffy sweaty smell to them, even the cleaner ones??? #brilliantblogposts

    • Who knows? I think it’s just one of those mysteries of life. Maybe someone has a really sweaty kid who they keep taking into changing rooms before you? Or maybe it’s you…. 🙂

  • Mama MKDPR

    Oh, definitely the lift thing. I really don’t get it. Why do through the hassle of finding and waiting for a lift if you don’t need it when there are a dozen empty escalators? We rejoice on the days we use a carrier rather than a buggy as we’re not joining the lift scrum, I have no idea why people would do it voluntarily.

    #brilliantblogposts

    • I have no idea. People are odd. Yep, agree on the carrier, we use one most of the time as it means we can get out of the way of stupid people quicker.

  • Educating Roversi

    This made me chuckle! Totally agree with every single one of them! ☺️

  • Musing Mumma

    Hehe. The lift thing annoys me too! How hard is it to get the escalator?! #brilliantblogposts

  • wendy

    Oh these are all so true. My husbands shouts from the car window at childless people parking in the family parking spaces, it drives him crazy! I also hate people who use the lift who don’t need to. I once waited 10mins test for a lift along with lots if people who could use the escalator right next to us, why these stupid people felt the need to take up precious room in the lift is beyond me. #brilliantblogposts

    • Sounds like your husband is a good one – me on the other hand, I’m too scared to say anything!

  • All of these are so true – particularly the parent and child spaces and the use of the lift – they really annoy me! #BrillBlogPosts

  • Tracey Abrahams

    I dont have the joys of a buggy to contend with any more, but I look after adults some of whom are wheelchair users, so I am totally with you on people who use the wrong parking spaces or who park on pavements.

    • Yeah exactly. It’s just selfish when people don’t consider others, be it new parents with babies or those in wheelchairs etc.

  • I’m a No.5 but still found this hysterical!

    • Haha thanks – in that case, you’re not too bad then 🙂

  • OMGitsagirl

    Yeah I’m with you on number one.
    Our local shopping centre has about 50 disabled spaces and 5 family spaces.

    Tickets are issued in the disabled spots but it seems anyone can park in the parent spaces.

    Trying to squeeze 4 kids, a pushchair, changing bags and all the other crap that goes with kids, trying to make sure the clumsy one doesnt beat the door off the Mercedes parked right on the edge of the space, just gets me in the right mood to go round the supermarket.

    Great post.

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  • Tom @Ideas4Dads

    I think you’re doing well. I pretty much hate everyone now I’m a parent;-)