4 Ways My Toddler Makes Me Look Like A Bad Parent

Do you ever think that your kid does stuff to purposefully make you look like a bad parent?

I do.

Over the last month or so, I’ve noticed that Toddler L is going out of her way to embarrass, humiliate and shame me whenever she gets the chance. At just under 22-months old, you may think I’m being a little over dramatic and it’s all coincidence.

Bollocks to that. That doe-eyed look doesn’t work on me any more. I’m on to her.

As cute, awesome and adorable as she is, my daughter is also ruthless, vindictive and in league with the devil.

Don’t believe me? Then check out these examples of how she purposefully makes me look like a bad parent.

Crying Wolf: As Toddler L’s vocabulary continues to grow, one word – if you can call it that – which features pretty prominently is “owww”. She understands that this is the noise to make when (a) she hurts herself, (b) she’s pointing to a previous injury, e.g. a scrape, (c) she hurts me / the missus / the dog, and (d) she’s trying to meow like a cat. However, she also likes to shout it in situations that don’t warrant the word – most notably when I’m trying to hold her hand or pick her up when we’re in public. I swear that she does it to draw attention to me and make it look like I’m abducting or hurting her.

Untidy House: Pre-sprog, our house never reached show home status. I wouldn’t call it ‘untidy’, but it was definitely lived in and we weren’t that fussed if stuff was left out rather than being put away. However, introducing a toddler – and her toys – into the mix means that things are now constantly messy. I obviously tidy up her crap at the end of a day, but don’t really bother during the day as she’s only going to make it untidy again. It always seems like she’s at her most destructive and chaotic when someone pops around unexpectedly – I’m pretty sure that when friends, the postman, delivery guys etc get a peek into the living room, they’ll come to the conclusion that I can’t cope with balancing a kid and the home. They’re only partly correct.

4 reasons bad parent untidy house

Makes Me Look Like A Liar: Whenever she has an audience, Toddler L likes nothing better than making me look like I’m fabricating the truth. When it’s just me and her, she does loads of cute things and is pretty good at performing on command – much like the dog. However, when we’re around other people and I ask her to do something, she looks at me with a clueless expression. It happens all of the time – “Toddler L, can you show Mummy the actions from the Swashbuckle song?”, “Toddler L, can you climb into your high chair for Grandma?”, “Toddler L, show Andy how to do a roll on the floor”. Nothing! All that’s left is me looking humiliated and disgraced in public.

Beats Herself Up: Due to her adventurous – and sometimes clumsy – nature, Toddler L often sports bruises, scratches and other marks on her body. Recently, she’s had bruised shins, scraped knees, grazed hands and a cut lip – all of these have been at the same time and through her own doing. I’m not suggesting that she’s deliberately hurting herself to make me look bad, however I wouldn’t be surprised if she was. When other people see these marks, not only does it suggest that I can’t watch her properly, but I’m genuinely worried that one day someone will call Social Services.

4 reasons bad parent injury

So those are four examples of how my toddler makes me look like a bad parent. Do any of these sound familiar? Does your kid do anything to show you up? Let me know below.

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  • Elaine Livingstone

    Think most of these sound normal, especially the messy house with the toys. Love the capture of her falling over. I am surpsried with my kids we did not have social services involved with their accident rate as wel.
    I remember taking my younger son to hospital one night with concussion ( he had been fighting earlier in the day with his sister and a bunk bed was involved). GP sent us up cos of his headache, blurred vision and inability to walk in a straight line. We were sent from A&E to xray and he managed to walk along the bear paw prints that show the way in a perfect straight line!! Talk about feel silly

  • Yes! A thousand time yes! “T, show mama your tongue” “honestly, he just did it a second a go”. Story of my life.

    And the bruises! I’m tempted to apply foundation to his legs before nursery!

  • RachelSwirl

    I am sooo with you on all of this, E (our 2 year old) loves to show me up and to tell tales. The other day I was on the loo (when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go!) and the doorbell went. I asked my 7 year old son if he would mind answering the door as I was fairly sure that it was the postman, it was indeed the postman who gave the post to my son whilst being told clearly by my daughter “Mummy is having a pooh and cant get door”….

    LET THE GROUND SWALLOW ME UP NOW!

  • Yes to all of the above, my house is constantly messy and my kids will never perform when I want them to-arrrgh! This was not what I signed up for! 😉

  • mummyofboygirltwins

    Ha ha yes!!!!!! We have just got back from Greece and the twins made such a scene at the airport. Felt so embarrassed 😉 They love it secretly I agree xx

  • Ha love it, I don’t even have toddlers to blame for the mess at home, in theory at 10 and almost 12 they should know better and own less ‘stuff’ …. Stevie

  • Cecile Blaireau

    She looks like a little ingenious little lady. A lot to be liked! #FridayFrolics

  • Moderate Mum

    They really know how to hit us where it hurts. My boy’s current thing is to dissolve into uncontrollable giggles any time I try and discipline him. Whenever I give him a drink he looks me dead in the eye and says, ‘No shake shake’ and I swear if he had the co ordination he would wink #FridayFrolics

  • Hayley McLean

    Ha!! Brilliant! She’s out to get you! 😉

    My middle one is exactly the same…whenever his Dad is out of the room he does all kinds of amazing things…well ok not amazing,he’s not doing long division or anything but he says full on actual words (He’s 14 months old so raspberries are usually about all we get out of him…) – I get all excited and shout his Dad through and try to get him to repeat them…he just looks at me with these devious eyes that say “No woman…I am not your performing monkey”. #fridayfrolics

  • I hear ya!! Loudly!! My son likes to walk along ‘making’ my hand hit his head, whilst screaming loudly, “MUMMY, STOP HITTING ME!!!” The looks I get! #FridayFrolics

  • Suzanne

    My daughter likes to shout “you’re not my mother” loudly in public and her favourite line when out with her dad is “No don’t touch me again Daddy”. Mortifying!

    Ps. I should probably point out I don’t make her call me Mother – I have no idea where she’s learnt it from. #fridayfrolics

  • Yep! My youngest ALWAYS removes his shoes and socks when he’s in the buggy. Short of super gluing them on there’s naff all I can do except shrug at the little old ladies disapproving looks. He has added insult to injury by now actively waving his bare toes at anyone who passes by just to make sure I get my full quota of judgement for the day. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

  • Tim

    Yeah, what is it with kids and bruises? Especially at this time of year when their bare arms and legs are exposed for all to see. I won’t call social services if you don’t … #fridayfrolics