I managed to aquire the greatest thing today. This sense of achievement was magnified by the fact it took me so long to get it, mainly due to my stupidity. The item in question was a London Underground “Baby On Board” badge to take pride of place on the wife’s jacket.
They are pretty simple to get hold of and don’t cost a penny. You can get one by calling TFL on 0343 222 1234, emailing them at email@example.com or asking at a Tube station Ticket Office.
Despite these three options, I still failed miserably to get one to start with. I’d read that you had to live in London to get one, so having emigrated from the capital to the leafy suburb of Berkhamsted, I thought I would need to demonstrate my most sneaky and cunning side in my quest for the elusive treasure.
As I’m no longer working in London, the collect-in person option was out. In addition, as I was a “dirty foreigner” in their eyes looking to claim goods that I was not eligible for, I was unable to email or ring them with my real location.
Then the idea hit me. Having lived in London for a good few years, I could just tell them my old address which would prove I was still a Londoner and therefore eligible to receive that shiny, circular badge of glory. A badge that screams “Hey you, give up your seat, my wife is carrying my offspring and needs to rest her swollen cankles!”
Having clicked “send” on the email and congratulated myself with a smirk and a Mars Bar, I realised that TFL post out the badges and would obviously ship it to my old address, not the current address that I had so sneakily concealed from them. Bollocks!
So, how did I get the badge I’m sure your wondering. Well, I can tell you that it was definitely not attained by spending £14 on a return train ticket into London with the sole intention of collecting a free badge from the Ticket Office…
Is “baby brain” contagious? I’ll let you decide.