All Star Mr & Mrs Pregnancy Q&A

In case you hadn’t realised, men and woman are pretty different. Not only do we have different interests, thought processes and driving ability, but the two sexes go through different experiences when it comes to pregnancy. In our first ever joint post, the missus and I do a pregnancy related Q&A to give our different perspectives on what it’s been like growing our little love goblin.

 

  • How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?

Hayley: I was pleasantly surprised. I’d just come off the pill and thought it would be a few months before my body had got back to normal, so it was pretty surreal that I was pregnant within weeks. Overall, I was so chuffed as it was what we wanted and where our lives had been heading for the past few years.

Dave: It was a mix of emotions – happy, excited, nervous and apprehensive, probably with a bit of tiredness and hunger thrown in for good measure. There was also quite a bit of disbelief in there as it happened so fast and meant that I missed out on all of the “practice” we should have been doing. I’m used to usually having things mapped out in terms of what to do and how to do it, but this opened up an entire world of uncertainty – what do we do, who do we tell, what will change etc.

 

  • What’s been the worst thing about pregnancy?

Hayley: Probably that I’ve felt quite frustrated that I’ve been unable to do simple tasks like I did before I was pregnant. I now walk really slow, get out of breath easier and have a slight waddle! It also hurts and is uncomfortable to bend over to pick things up off the floor or stroke the dog. I also miss the fact that I’ve been unable to go out for a run. It’s also been a bit annoying trying to get into a position where I can sit or lay down without being poked in the ribs by the baby. But, I realise I’ve been pretty lucky on the whole and have had a straightforward pregnancy so far. I’ve not felt a lot of the bad things people normally talk about like heartburn, swollen ankles or morning sickness, so feel a bit bad complaining about relatively minor things!

Dave: Not a lot has changed to be honest. I’ve had to do a bit more housework and had to watch what I say sometimes, but that’s hardly bad. Hayley getting up to the toilet in the middle of the night has been a slight inconvenience but I’ve just about managed to cope! The worst thing has probably been the feeling of helplessness and uselessness at times – not being able to help Hayley in certain circumstances and not being able to contribute whatsoever to the development of the baby as she’s in her cocoon of love (well after my initial contribution at least!).

 

  • What’s been the best thing about pregnancy?

Hayley: There’s been a few things. I’ve enjoyed the excitement and anticipation of buying things for the baby and knowing that she’ll soon be with us wearing and using them. I’ve really enjoyed the past few months when I’ve been able to feel the baby move, especially when Dave has been able to feel movement, so we can share the experience together. I love learning about new things, so have really enjoyed reading all of the information out there on pregnancy so that I can understand how my body changes and how the baby grows – a bit sad I know!

Dave: It’s been really nice to see how excited our friends and family are about the baby. It sounds pretty obvious, but sometimes you forget how much people care and how nice they can be when you get good news. It’s also been really nice that I’ve been able to transform my mum and dad from parents into grandparents. It will be their first grandkid and made particularly special as we are having a girl and my parents had two boys when mum always wanted a girl. All the little things have been nice too – watching the bump grow, watching Hay bloom, decorating the nursery, buying baby stuff and thinking about a name.

 

  • Describe how the other half has been during pregnancy?

Hayley: Really good. He’s been very supportive and really preemptive. He’s done things like hooving, cooking and cleaning without needing to be asked. Also he’s been involved and interested in everything during the pregnancy.  (Dave: this answer was not edited in anyway by me, I’m just that good!)

Dave: A real star! She’s barely complained and gone about growing a baby with minimal fuss. She’s also done a lot of the reading and researching of everything and bought the majority of stuff. I’d like to think I’ve been involved in pretty much all of the decisions, but I’m more of a sounding board rather than a doer when it comes to ordering things from Mothercare or Amazon. Let’s just say that without Hay, there’d be no imminent baby!

 

  • What type of parent do you think the other half will be?

Hayley: Probably exactly the same as he is with the dog! And by that I mean fun and playful, but makes sure that very clear boundaries are in place. I’d also imagine he’d be involved in all aspects of helping to raise the baby. Dave being Dave, he’ll be very hands on but it wont be a conscious action, it’s just how he naturally is. He’ll also really enjoy having a new little sidekick when she’s bigger, although the dog might not be too impressed at being replaced!

Dave: Hay thinks she isn’t very maternal, but I’m pretty sure she’ll pick it up really easily and surprise herself once the baby is here. I think she’ll be a really good listener and provide sound advice, whilst also helping to create a thirst for knowledge in the little one’s mind.

 

  • What’s been the best thing you’ve bought during pregnancy?

Hayley: The 4D scan was a great purchase. It made the pregnancy real for me, so that was well worth it. Just seeing the face and viewing her as a baby and not just a bump was special. From a selfish perspective, the maternity clothes I’ve bought have been good. If you’re already uncomfortable because you’re getting bigger, the last thing you want is to have tight fitting clothes. So I’ve definitely got my moneys worth out of under bump maternity trousers. My body has changed so much that having decent fitting clothes is one less thing to feel conscious about.

Dave: I can’t recall buying anything for myself, and as mentioned, Hayley has done the majority of baby purchases. The only thing I did buy was a pair of yellow sunglasses for the baby which I still think is a pretty cool purchase! I also really like the wall art stickers that we got for the nursery and think they make it much more of a kiddie room. The other thing I’m proud that I had a big say in was a pair of denim shorts-dungarees things for Hay. She wasn’t sure about wearing dungarees, but if you’re pregnant, you’ve got to wear them, right? Anyway, she eventually gave in and now has worn them a lot so it’s nice to be right!

 

  • How has pregnancy been different to what you expected?

Hayley: I really thought that I’d be the size of a house! Think Kim Kardashian when she was pregnant, just bigger! But I’ve not really changed – I’ve got a bump and my boobs are bigger, but that’s about it. I’ve also been a lot more worried than I imagined I’d be. We had a slight scare at the start which I think has made us both a bit more on edge as it’s shown how fragile pregnancy can be. It’s also been a lot quicker than I thought – everyone said it would fly by, but you think that 9 months is basically a year so it won’t go too fast. But, with around a month until she’s here, it doesn’t seem 5 minutes ago since we found out.

Dave: The main thing has really been around the missus. You hear stories of morning sickness, raging hormones, inconsolable weeping and huge cravings, but (as far as I’m aware!) she’s not really displayed any of this normal pregnancy behaviour. She felt a bit rough at the start but was never sick, her temperament hasn’t changed and her eating habits have remained pretty constant.

 

What things have you learnt during pregnancy which surprised you?

Hayley: (1) My ribs and organs have moved to make way for the baby, (2) Babies don’t have solid knee caps until they’re older, (3) Babies can only see things close-up and have some in-built insticts which allows them to make out faces.

Dave: I’ve learnt some proper fascinating, but equally repulsive, stuff. For instance, (1) A woman’s nipples get darker to make it easier for the baby to find them for breastfeeding, (2) The term “mucus plug” which discharges when the cervix begins to dilate, (3) The fact that a woman can rub and massage the bit between the front and rear exits to make it more pliable and less likely to rip during birth. The wonders of pregnancy, eh?!

 

  • What are you looking forward to over the next year?

Hayley: I’m really looking forward to getting out and about and doing things as a little family. Whether it’s simple things like putting the baby in a sling and going into the woods to walk the dog or having a day trip to Legoland. Christmas is also going to be amazing and the thought of buying stuff for our baby is pretty exciting but also very weird! It’s going to be difficult, but we’ll figure things out just like we’ve always done. It’ll be a pretty crazy learning curve but we’ll just get on with it as we do with everything. Oh yeah, it’ll also be nice to be off work for 10 months!

Dave: So much. The big thing I’m looking forward to is watching the baby grow, develop and learn as she becomes a proper person. I know we’re having a baby, but it’s weird to think that she will develop her own behaviours and personality and become a real girl – a female Pinocchio if you will, just hopefully without the big nose. I also love the fact that Hay and I will be at home together during her maternity leave. Being self-employed and working from home gives me the flexibility to play a key part in supporting Hay and raising the baby. Doing everything together, be it day trips, going for walks or changing nappies all have extra appeal knowing we’ll be doing it together.

 

  • What tips would you give to someone who has recently become pregnant?

Hayley: Make the effort to go to any pre-natal classes like pregnancy yoga or the NCT antenatal classes. Even though I had my reservations to start with, going has been definitely worth it and make me more confident about it all. I know what should happen and how to cope if things don’t go to plan, plus it’s given me the chance to meet others in the same situation.

Dave: Enjoy the experience of pregnancy and enjoy the time you have as a couple before the baby arrives. Don’t be afraid to be more selfish and tell people (nicely) what you want and what you don’t want – it’s your life and the start of your new family, so put yourselves first and don’t worry if that puts out a couple of people. There is a lot of baby stuff you can buy – figure out what you need and don’t go over the top. We live in a world where you can get plenty of stuff next day delivery, so don’t splash the cash until you need to. Also, we’ve hardly bought anything at full price. There are so many sales and discounts that you’ve got no reason to spend £500 on a cot, £700 on a pram or £40 per pair of maternity trousers.

 

That’s the Q&A over. We’ll be returning in the future for another Q&A, probably once the baby is here and we’ve had chance to get used to life as parents!

Did you find that you and your partner were much different to Hayley and I? Was there much you disagreed / agreed on?

Post included on the following linky’s:

  • Le Coin de Mel

    What a lovely post! I am glad I found my way to your blog through #MagicMoments and I have really enjoyed reading both your points of view. Hayley, sounds like you’re having the perfect pregnancy. So nice when you’re blooming and not bothered by heartburn or water retention. If you need ideas for your birth plan or packing your hospital bag, check my blog, I had my little girl in June 😉 Mel http://www.lecoindemel.com

    • Thanks for the comment 🙂 Yeah it’s been ok for Hayley so far, although the past few days hasn’t been great with the sun and heat! Thanks for the heads up on the birth plan / hospital bag – we’re thinking about both of those at the moment.

  • I have 3 little girls you must be so excited lovely post #magicmondays

  • Coombe Mill (Fiona)

    Fab post, great to see the his and her view points. #MagicMoments

    • Thanks – we didn’t differ too much which surely is a good sign 🙂

  • Aww Dave i am loving this! is it wrong that i laughed out loud:

    What type of parent do you think the other half will be?

    Hayley: Probably exactly the same as he is with the dog! … sorry that really tickled me 😉

    I love the idea of this post what a fab way to remember this point in your lives

    thanks for linking up with #MagicMoment

    • Thanks Jaime – I better not let the missus look at this comment or she’ll get a big head and think she’s a comedian. I’m supposed to be the funny one! Thanks for setting up the link up.

  • Great post! Lovely to read both points of view…

  • I enjoyed reading both your answers! This will be fun for your family to read in the years to come! #magicmoments

    • Thanks – I think it’s nice to see where we differ / agree! We’ll definitely be doing more of these joint posts in the future. Who knows, I may even let Hayley run wild on the blog one day…

  • It’s great to hear both points of view. I’d love to hear both opinions on labour and birth! Good luck to you both #magicmoments

    • Thanks Louisa – I’ll do what I can to rope the missus into doing future posts too – not quite sure how much she’ll want to relive childbirth though 🙂

  • Gretta Schifano

    This is a lovely post and I’m sure you’ll like to read it in years to come. Good luck with everything and get as much sleep as you can while you can!

    • Dave

      Thanks Gretta – I’m trying to sleep a lot but feel guilty that Hay is waking up early each day! 🙂

    • Thanks Gretta – I’ll try to get more sleep, although Hay might complain considering she keeps waking up early at the moment 🙂

  • Beth

    This is such a lovely post!!
    Thanks for linking up#ProudLittleMoments

  • Tom @Ideas4Dads

    Ha ha very good not seen a post like this before 🙂 look forward to reading the next interview post baby!

    • Thanks Tom – thought it’d be nice to include the missus seen as she’s a big part of the blog!

  • Merlinda Little

    OOhhh this is nice! Nice to see different perspective in pregnancy! Sadly we cant write something like this as my husband was away when I was preggy! This is a cute post =) #magicmoments

  • Lystra Maisey

    Hello there, a lovely post and great reading different points of view-fantastic idea! x #magicmoments

  • Love this post. So nice to see how a couple going through the same thing found it different/the same.

    I have no idea what my husband thought about pregnancy stage. I think he blocked it out as he was so worried about not getting a baby at the end of it like a family member went through.

    • Hey Emma, thanks for the comment. I totally get what you mean about your husband – pregnancy is so fragile and there is surely no worse feeling than being excited for something, only for it not to work out. It has taken both Hay and I a long time to finally lower our barriers and accept that we no longer need to be that cautious or guarded when it comes to the likes of miscarriage. Yes, the baby isn’t here yet and something could still happen, but we’re obviously a lot more confident than we were in the 1st trimester!

  • Caroline Hooper

    Great post, it parallels what I go through with my other half! Good to hear both sides 🙂 #MMWBH

    • Thanks Caroline – there’s two sides to every story, it’s just we often only hear the females :p

  • Ha ha loved this, I have never thought about it from Mans angles. Great post. I love the part about Hayley getting up in the night being an inconvenience. #MMWBH

    • Thanks Sarah! Exactly, just because we don’t physically go through the process of growing a human inside us, it doesn’t mean male folk don’t think, feel, rejoice and hurt too 🙂

  • Rob George

    Haha loved this, you are a brave lad I’m worried what the missus answers would be. I’m with the others about Hayley’s ‘Probably like he is with the dog’ lol – wouldn’t recommend taking your daughter for a walk with a lead, a pushchair will suffice haha! #PoCoLo

    • Thanks Rob – well I’m all in to modern parenting so a lead could be the newest gizmo!

  • Twinmumanddad

    Great post. Lovely to see your different answers. Thanks for linking up to the #binkylinky

  • Let’s Talk Mommy

    This is an amazing post. I absolutely love love that you both answered the questions from each perspective. That’s awesome. It’s always great to read what the other sex think and feel about it all. Fantastic idea! Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. Sorry it took me a few days to comment I had no power for two days due to a bad storm. #sharewithme

    • Thanks – the post seems to have gone down pretty well, so I’ll definitely rope the missus into doing more of these. Who know’s, she may even end up taking over the blog! Hope you got the power situation sorted 🙂

  • Cat Culmer

    Fab post. God knows what my hubby would have answered.
    Cat
    #babybable

    • Thanks Cat – haha, sometimes it’s best not to know. Although as a man, I can assure you that what we think is probably no where as near as bad as you fear 🙂

  • Wow, you managed to get a fair few linkys in there! Lol at the hunger emotion bit 🙂 most of the rest of it takes me back to how I felt – awwwww 🙂 over from #PoCoLo

    • Thanks 🙂 Yeah, I kind of went a bit crazy on the linkys this week haha

  • Susanne Remic

    What a fab post! Love hearing things from the male perspective… sometimes!! Haha as a 25 weeker I am sure my husband might agree with some things here 😀 x x

    • Thanks Suzanne. Haha, yeah I can imagine – just like my wife, likes to listen to what I say when it agrees with her perspective! All the best for your remaining weeks 🙂

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  • Thanks fir sharing this with the blog carnival, its always great to get both sides

  • Interesting to hear from the male perspective too-Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts

  • Jo Smith

    LOL’ing so hard at the yellow sunglasses purchase hahah! Great idea for a post. brilliant xx

    Thanks for linking to #babybabble this last week, hope to see you link up again tomorrow! xx

    • Thanks 🙂 – she will wear the sunglasses, even when it’s not sunny. I’m going to PROVE it is a good purchase!

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  • Keri Jones

    Fab post, lovely to read from your mrs for a change 😉 x

    • Thanks – she is probably the most interesting one of us to be fair!

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