An Open Apology To The Missus

Hay, I apologise for being a dick. Whilst I’m at it and am talking about male genitalia, I may as well apologise for being a cock, a prick and a big old ball sack too.

I realise I’ve been a bit irritable recently, but the truth is I’m not really sure why. I don’t mean to make snidey comments or blame you for things that aren’t your fault, it’s just the easy thing to do when I need to blow off steam.

So, I’m sorry for my recent outbursts including, but not limited to:

  1. Complaining when you made mashed potato that wasn’t totally smooth: I realise you spent time making it and me slagging off your mashing skills wasn’t the best way of showing my appreciation.
  2. Shouting when I couldn’t find a matching pair of socks for Baby L and blaming you: It’s not like you’ve been hiding socks on purpose, and to be fair, you’re the one that normally does the washing so the fact that we have socks at all is down to you.
  3. Blowing off steam in your direction when the drawer broke: That was nothing to do with you, I just directed my fury in your direction as you were the only thing in sight which wasn’t a stupid inanimate object.
  4. Having a go at you when the bottles weren’t sterilised as I couldn’t feed Baby L at night: You’ve shown me repeatedly how to sterilise the bottles, but I’ve still only done it twice. It shouldn’t be your responsibility to do this everyday and I appreciate that you do.
  5. Being narky when you roughly put the carry cot into the back of the car: I realise you were just trying to help out and already had your hands full, so it didn’t warrant my reaction.
  6. Shouting at you and going all moody when you knocked over a bottle of water on the floor: I know that you’re a bit clumsy anyway and you didn’t do it on purpose. Clumsiness is a kind of ‘disability’ that you have to live with. Anyway, it was only water and can easily be dried up.

Obviously a baby changes things, but I don’t feel like I, or we, are struggling because we’re new parents. The little one has been pretty awesome in her ten short weeks of life and the fact that we’re both at home helping to look after her can only be beneficial. I wouldn’t change anything. But still, my fuse is a little bit shorter for whatever reason since becoming a dad.

It’s not like I can use lack of sleep as an excuse or that I’m tired after commuting to and from work. Life is pretty much the same as it was before, just a little bit more disturbed from having a newborn under the roof. I just find that I’m more irritable at the moment, and for that I’m sorry. It’s nothing you’ve done.

I guess it may be something to do with having too much to do, but that’s not your fault. There’s only so many hours in the day that I can do the day job, write on the blog, help around the house, do stuff with the little one, spend time as a family and have a bit of me time. But I know that you’re in a similar situation too and you’re not getting on my back about things.

To show how sorry I am and how I promise to try to be more tolerable and not get at you as much, I may as well say sorry for a few other things that annoy you, including:

  1. Leaving beard hair in the bathroom sink and not rinsing it properly
  2. Failing to wake up when the baby cries at night or when the dog barks to go outside in the morning
  3. Leaving skid marks in the toilet
  4. Farting and blaming the dog / baby
  5. Not listening to you as much as I used to and just nodding or saying “yeh”, which led to me accidentally agreeing that your new haircut made you look manly
  6. Having no control over my chocolate consumption
  7. Assuming, and suggesting, that whenever the little one is crying that it might be because she needs a feed
  8. Being on my phone or laptop continually

I’ll summarise the above with two words – I’m sorry.

Featured image from Hanne Dale via Compfight

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  • Sarah MumofThree World

    Fantastic post. Brings back (not so happy) memories. I know we spent about six months snapping at each other after our babies were born. Once number 3 was on the way I just said to my husband ‘this is going to happen, we can’t stop it, let’s just accept it’. I’m not sure it made it any easier, but we at least knew it wasn’t going to last forever.

    • Thanks for the comment and sorry it brought back previous bad memories! A baby can change dynamics massively so it isn’t a surprise that relationships suffer during the early period. Hope all is good now 🙂

  • Kate Fever

    What a great post – think we have all been there, especially in the early baby days (or baby daze as I like to call them). #TheList

    • Thanks – baby daze, I like that! Guess it just takes a bit of time to adjust to the new addition in the household 🙂

  • Great post, the whole short fuse thing is so familiar, least it doesn’t last forever =) And the most important thing is being able to say sorry!!

    • Very true! Since writing this I’ve made a more conscious effort not to snap etc and fingers crossed it is working! Yep, important to say sorry and mean it! Thanks for the comment 🙂

  • http://cardiffmummysays.com

    Love this! I think we are all guilty of taking things out on our other halves. So easy to do when you are tired and busy. It’s great you’re so honest about it and happy to apologise. #thelist

    • Yep totally agree. Can’t take things out on a baby so unfortunately it’s often the other half…

  • Kristine @ MumRevised

    Fun post. SO glad my baby days are over. Bigger things to be sorry for when you have tween and teens in the house though.
    Found you on the list.

    • Haha thanks Kristine, I’ll look forward to those tween days 🙂

  • A great post. Hope the apology had the desired effect! Thanks for linking up again. #FamilyFriday

  • Lindsay @Newcastle family life

    Sounds so similar to my life since having another baby and less sleep me and the other half are ways bickering over the silliest of things . At least u have apologised though and baby makes it all worthwhile #TheList

    • Nice to know someone else is going through the same thing. Well, not nice for you guys, but you get what I mean! Yeah, think a lack of sleep etc doesn’t help 🙂

  • minitravellers

    Hope she forgave you. The first few weeks* are tough! Wait until you holiday! #thelist
    *years

    • I *think* she did. I’ll listen to your warning and make sure we never go away on holiday as a family!

  • A public apology is always a good move 😉

  • It gets better. We rowed so much in those early days x

    • Good to know! It hasn’t been anything too bad, but more than normal isn’t particularly fun 🙂

  • Andy Davis

    Great post, I do a lot of those on a regular basis too. With three chilsren there’s a lot of people around to blame farts on. I’ve agreed to all sorts of stuff while not paying attention, get on top of that one quick snap.

    • Good tip, I’ll try to make sure I listen more often or I’ll find myself doing something I didn’t think I’d agreed to. 🙂

  • Sarah Doyle

    it does get easier – I think lack of sleep has a lot to blame! but a good apology never goes amiss x
    #familyfriday

    • Thanks – even a few weeks after writing this post things have got better. The public apology must have helped 🙂

  • You Baby Me Mummy

    I LOVE this! This is such a great post. Very honest. I think we have all been in a similar situation. Just stay strong as a couple and you will be fine! But skid marks… man that’s what the brush is for! 😉 #PoCoLo Thanks also for linking to #TheList x

    • Thanks, and yeh we’re staying strong. Haha, I like the missus to know what I’ve been up to 🙂

  • Victoria Welton

    What a lovely honest post for your wife. Communication is the key – and it sounds like you have got it! Could you please advise my OH on the point about the beard hair?! Thank you for linking to PoCoLo 🙂 x

    • Yeah I agree on communication – I think a lot of the time we were doing things to help the other out, but the other didn’t realise as we were failing to communicate. Haha, good to know there’s another beard hair buddy out there 🙂

  • Elaine Livingstone

    being a new parent is TE hardest job both of you will ever do. Whats the saying – count to 10!! I am sure Hayley is feeling stressed, she will be very very tired, but reading this will hopefully make her smile. Babies turn your lwhole life upside down and nothing will ever be the same again.

    • Yep, agree with everything you say. I think that’s the thing, just trying to stay calm and not snapping over stupid things that don’t matter when we’re both tired, stressed etc 🙂

  • What a lovely honest post. I think we’ve all struggled in those first few weeks – heck, we still do now after nearly 3 years! #familyfriday

  • Amy

    How have I only just come across your blog! I love this post and I think you need to have a work with my partner 😉
    Amy
    http://www.thesmallestofthings.com

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  • Laughing mum

    Blimey! If I can get my husband off of his phone I’m going to shove this post in his face and say “SEE?! you me. Can be arseholes and a simple apology is all it takes!” Lol loved it! But then any woman loves hearing a man say he was wrong and occasionally out of order! Hope he wife liked it too 😉

  • Laughing mum

    **men not ‘me.’ Damn auto correct