HELP! Is My Baby Now A Toddler?

The day has arrived – Baby L has officially become Toddler L!

I say “officially”, but it’s not like we attended an award ceremony or made national news. I did however update my blog header and social media profiles to state “toddler” rather than “baby”, so I reckon that is pretty official in the world of blogging.

The momentous event happened a couple of weeks ago when the sprog took her first steps. She’d been comfortably cruising since June (10 months old) and standing unaided since August (one year old), but had decided that she was more than happy getting around with her monkey-like crawl rather than putting one foot in front of the other, often at a super speed to rival The Flash.

Not one’s for putting pressure on her or on ourselves, we’ve always maintained that she’d do it in her own time. And do it in her own time she did at 14 months old:

To say she’d never taken any steps until yesterday, she’s getting the hang of walking!

A video posted by The DADventurer (Dave) (@the_dadventurer) on

Truth be told though, it feels like we’ve had a toddler for quite a while. The only thing lacking from her toddler repertoire was the actual toddling. Yes, this is a pretty vital component of becoming a toddler, hence the name – think what KFC would be without chicken – but personally I don’t think it’s the only factor in deciding whether your little, cute baby has turned into a menacing, temperamental tot.

In addition to the walking thing, here’s ten other observations I’ve noticed which I think suggests that Baby L is now officially Toddler L:

  1. You can’t escape. She will follow you wherever you go. When she catches you, she’ll grasp onto your legs like a gigantic limpet and not let go unless you scrape her off with the edge of a cupboard.
  2. She has opinions, views and preferences of her own. If you attempt to do something which goes against what she wants, e.g. putting her into pushchair or highchair, she will let you know, often in a very vocal way.
  3. To achieve #2, she has developed a kind of death roll in which she voluntarily looses control of the top half of her body in order to arch backwards and escape your grasp. Not great when standing on concrete.
  4. Nappy changes become a battle. As a baby, she’d lay there and accept what was going to happen, whereas now she wriggles, squirms and yells, occasionally deciding it’s a good idea to dip a finger or foot into her shitty nappy.
  5. Her favourite pastime is eating. That includes all of ‘her’ food and a large majority of ‘mine’. She has super senses, allowing her to hear, smell and see a chocolate bar within a 20 meter radius. As a result, I’ve taken to secretly snacking in the bathroom and swallowing without chewing (reminds me of a few blue movies I’ve seen).
  6. Eating in restaurants no longer includes taking a few snacks and giving her a couple of mouthfuls of my food. I now need to buy a separate meal for her, which has drastically hit the cash in my wallet.
  7. She has quickly learnt to copy things that I do. Very cute when she attempts to put my glasses on her face, not so cute when she mimics the ‘wanker hand gesture’.
  8. Babies cry, but they mainly cry for a few set reasons, e.g. hungry, tired, temperature, dirty nappy, comfort etc. Toddlers cry – or should that be ‘have a shit fit’ – for any number of reasons, e.g. I take the TV remote off her, I stop her from pulling over the TV, I won’t let her lick the dog etc.
  9. The house has become her own gigantic soft play. Everything becomes fair game for exploration – the sofa, the bin, the TV cabinet, the stairs, the treadmill, the windowsill etc. Much like a small Edmund Hillary, all obstacles will be conquered.
  10. Let’s end on a positive. As a baby, the sprog hated any kind of affection. As a toddler though, she’s actually coming round to kisses and hugs. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still 97% emotionally challenged, but that 3% gives me hope for the future.

Do any of the above reasons sound familiar? At what point did you realise that your baby(s) had become…DUN-DUN-DUUUN…toddler(s)? What’s next in store for me? Let me know below!

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