The Sexual Innuendos Hiding In Our Nursery Rhymes

We were in the car the other day as we were going away for the weekend. As has become customary on long journeys, we were blasting out nursery rhyme after nursery rhyme as one of the ways to keep Toddler L entertained. As each of the earworms burrowed into my brain and made me seriously consider whether to […]

School Half-Term Holidays: The Bane Of The Preschooler Parent’s Life

It’s the beginning of June. The sun is shining, there’s not a cloud in the sky and my pasty legs are on show. BUT, there’s a problem. We’re not outside enjoying the weather – instead we’re ‘stuck’ inside watching Peppa bloody Pig. No, we’re not ill and I haven’t misplaced the house keys. Instead, the reason for our entrapment […]

Why, Why, Why? Entering The Toddler Question Phase

Toddler L has recently hit the question phase. Pretty much everything she says is some kind of question. Whether it’s enquiring about the world around her, questioning our authority or just being annoying, “why” has very quickly made it to the top of her favourite words list. In fact, I’d hazard a guess at it […]

10 Unanswered Questions From Watching Peppa Pig

Ah, Peppa Pig. That irritating, brattish, jumped up swine. As a parent, it would seem that the ‘Peppa Pig phase’ is a right of passage, not too dissimilar to other milestones like walking and talking. For us, the pork-based show was one of the first that Toddler L became interested in – perhaps after starring […]

The Rise Of Toddler L And The Fluffy Crew

Throughout history, there have been some notorious gangs. The meanest of the mean. The baddest of the bad. The toughest of the tough. I’m not going to list them all, but names such as The Thompson Gang, The Medellin Cartel, The Aryan Brotherhood, 18th Street Gang, Katrina And The Waves and Rastamouse & Da Easy Crew, […]

Baby Swimming Versus Toddler Swimming

In a few weeks time, it will be Toddler L’s two-year anniversary since she first went swimming. Sure, it may not be up there with other special events such as birthdays, wedding anniversaries and Christmases – I doubt that Hallmark are busy creating “Happy Toddler Swimming Anniversary” greetings cards, for instance. Although if they do, […]

10 More Ridiculous Reasons Why My Toddler Had A Tantrum

A few months ago, I wrote a post about Toddler L’s tantrums. In the imaginatively named 15 ridiculous reasons why my toddler had a tantrum, I explored some of the laughable situations which caused the sprog to have a shit fit. We’re talking things like me confiscating the tampons she’d found in the bathroom or the time I […]

Raising A Middle-Class Toddler Who’s Posher Than Me

It struck me the other day that I’m raising a middle-class toddler. This is by no means a bad thing – it’s just a surprising thing. Don’t worry, I don’t intend to analyse the different contextual meanings of the word “class”, discuss what measurements define different social classes or argue that the three-tier class system […]

Parenting Groundhog Day and Playing Toddler Bingo

I wouldn’t say that being a parent is boring per se, but there’s a definite lack of thrill-seeking action. On a daily basis, i’d suggest that it’s more Groundhog Day than Independence Day. Much like Bill Murray’s character, it sometimes feels like I’m caught in a time-loop where I’m forced to repeat the same monotonous toddler-related […]