11 Things I’ve Learnt From Visiting Soft Play

Pre-kids, I’d never visited the wonders of soft play as an adult. I’d not had the pleasure of smelling the amalgamation of shit chips, PVC and excited toddler farts or been forced to bend my body through obstacles designed for five-year olds whilst only wearing socks. Then I became a dad – suddenly, my office […]

Pregnancy: It’s Just Like Starring In My Own Horror B-Movie

I was sitting in the car the other day and the revelation hit me. Pregnancy is basically the same as starring in your very own B-movie. You know the ones I mean. Those low-budget science-fiction and horror films featuring swamp monsters, man-eating toasters or alien avocados from Mars. Set to a backdrop of piss-poor special effects, scripts that read as […]

The Frustration Of Playing Games With A Preschooler

Is there anything as incredible – and frustrating – than playing games with your toddler? Don’t bother answering. It’s a rhetorical question. I already know that there isn’t. Let me break it down a bit. It’s incredible because you’re spending time with them, you’re seeing their imagination flourish, they’re learning through play and it’s a […]

6 Unexpected Things That Excite Me Now I’m A Parent

Becoming an adult takes the excitement out of life. As a kid, everything is new, different and thrilling – the world is your metaphorical oyster. Then you grow up. Your life becomes work, bills, chores and other boring stuff that didn’t cross your mind when you were playing pirates as a 8-year old. Life as […]

11 More Things You Will Do And Think When Potty Training A Toddler

A few weeks ago, I posted about things you will do and think when potty training a toddler (read here). I wrote it, pressed publish, stuck it on social media then got on with my day – probably something potty training related like washing piss-soaked knickers. However, although that post was done and dusted, I […]

10 Signs You’re Obsessed With A Children’s TV Show (The Wiggles, In My Case)

I’ve got something to confess. I really like The Wiggles. Like, really really like them. I think it’s bordering on obsession. I have a problem. Up until a few weeks ago, I didn’t even know the kid-friendly, Australian ‘family’ existed. However, having recently discovered them on Netflix – with Toddler L, might I add – […]

Crap, We’ve Hit The ‘Isn’t Poo Great’ Toddler Phase!

Being a parent is all about successfully navigating your kid through various phases and stages in their development. As a once naive dad, I assumed that these phases were pretty simple – your child learns to roll over, crawl, walk and talk, then they leave home at 18 years old (16 if you’re lucky). The […]

11 Things You Will Do And Think When Potty Training A Toddler

Unless you’ve unfollowed me on social media and stopped reading my blog – which I wouldn’t blame you for – you’ll have noticed that Toddler L is potty training at the moment. We started back in mid-July and have been on the roller coaster ride that is potty training ever since. We’re not quite there […]

5 Reasons Why Stag Dos Are The Same As Being A Parent

I’ve just got back from a mate’s stag do. We headed over to Stuttgart for the weekend to coincide with the start of Cannstatter Volksfest – a huge, annual beer festival and travelling funfair, not too dissimilar to Oktoberfest in Munich. We had a good laugh, it was cool to experience a German beer festival and we […]

My Top 5 Parenting Dry Retch Moments

If you’re feeling queasy, currently eating or are considering having kids, then I implore you to stop reading now. You see, parenting is far from glamorous. You may think that it’s all about cuddles, kisses and coochy coos, but you’d be hugely mistaken, my friend. Parenting is bloody gross. In fact, apart from maybe a […]