My Top 5 Parenting Dry Retch Moments

If you’re feeling queasy, currently eating or are considering having kids, then I implore you to stop reading now. You see, parenting is far from glamorous. You may think that it’s all about cuddles, kisses and coochy coos, but you’d be hugely mistaken, my friend. Parenting is bloody gross. In fact, apart from maybe a […]

Deciding What To Do With Toddler L’s Crap Artwork

Parenting is all about making difficult choices. Some of these are pretty critical to the future of your kid – do they go to private nursery or the nursery at school, for instance. Other decisions may not appear as important, but they still have the capacity to screw your kid up for good. Take my […]

13 Things You’ll Inadvertently Do When On Holiday Without Kids

The missus and I have just returned from a short holiday to Hamburg. Although going on European city breaks is nothing new for us, there was one big difference this time – we went as a couple and left Toddler L with her grandparents. From recollection, this is only the second time in her nearly […]

The Sexual Innuendos Hiding In Our Nursery Rhymes

We were in the car the other day as we were going away for the weekend. As has become customary on long journeys, we were blasting out nursery rhyme after nursery rhyme as one of the ways to keep Toddler L entertained. As each of the earworms burrowed into my brain and made me seriously consider whether to […]

School Half-Term Holidays: The Bane Of The Preschooler Parent’s Life

It’s the beginning of June. The sun is shining, there’s not a cloud in the sky and my pasty legs are on show. BUT, there’s a problem. We’re not outside enjoying the weather – instead we’re ‘stuck’ inside watching Peppa bloody Pig. No, we’re not ill and I haven’t misplaced the house keys. Instead, the reason for our entrapment […]

Why, Why, Why? Entering The Toddler Question Phase

Toddler L has recently hit the question phase. Pretty much everything she says is some kind of question. Whether it’s enquiring about the world around her, questioning our authority or just being annoying, “why” has very quickly made it to the top of her favourite words list. In fact, I’d hazard a guess at it […]

10 Unanswered Questions From Watching Peppa Pig

Ah, Peppa Pig. That irritating, brattish, jumped up swine. As a parent, it would seem that the ‘Peppa Pig phase’ is a right of passage, not too dissimilar to other milestones like walking and talking. For us, the pork-based show was one of the first that Toddler L became interested in – perhaps after starring […]

The Rise Of Toddler L And The Fluffy Crew

Throughout history, there have been some notorious gangs. The meanest of the mean. The baddest of the bad. The toughest of the tough. I’m not going to list them all, but names such as The Thompson Gang, The Medellin Cartel, The Aryan Brotherhood, 18th Street Gang, Katrina And The Waves and Rastamouse & Da Easy Crew, […]

Baby Swimming Versus Toddler Swimming

In a few weeks time, it will be Toddler L’s two-year anniversary since she first went swimming. Sure, it may not be up there with other special events such as birthdays, wedding anniversaries and Christmases – I doubt that Hallmark are busy creating “Happy Toddler Swimming Anniversary” greetings cards, for instance. Although if they do, […]

10 More Ridiculous Reasons Why My Toddler Had A Tantrum

A few months ago, I wrote a post about Toddler L’s tantrums. In the imaginatively named 15 ridiculous reasons why my toddler had a tantrum, I explored some of the laughable situations which caused the sprog to have a shit fit. We’re talking things like me confiscating the tampons she’d found in the bathroom or the time I […]