At the end of last year, I wrote a post about some of the random thoughts I’ve had when watching kid’s TV with Toddler L. This included things like ‘is Mr Tumble’s spotty bag code for genital warts’ and that ‘the Furchester Hotel must have some really bad reviews on TripAdvisor because of the spontaneous singing’.
Unsurprisingly, during the last six months, I’ve been subjected to even more children’s shows on CBeebies and Milkshake. As I’ve rotted both mine and the sprog’s mind with an overload of colour, sounds, imagery and the weird, it’s probably no surprise that I’m back with seven more random thoughts I’ve had whilst watching kid’s TV. Why seven? Purely because I couldn’t think of 13 this time!
Having also written some alternative synopses for CBeebies shows and a transcript from a night out with the CBeebies presenters, you’d probably think that I’m a little obsessed with kid’s TV shows at the moment. And you’d probably be right. Where once I used to be worried about upcoming client presentations at work, I now fret over whether Topsy and Tim will successfully move house in the most drawn out storyline in TV history.
So, here’s seven more random thoughts I’d had whilst watching kid’s TV recently. Please tell me that I’m not alone in thinking any of these:
1) Has Justin ever loaded up the Tumble Tap when on set and been greeted by the sights and sounds of the porn he was watching from the night before? I can’t be the only person to have made the embarrassing mistake of opening a laptop in a public place having forgotten to close the incognito windows from the previous evening’s activities…
2) Peppa Pig, Danny Dog, Suzy Sheep, Rebecca Rabbit, Zoe Zebra etc. Why does George Pig not have alliteration in his name? Is he adopted? Is he not actually a pig? Is it a cruel joke played by Mummy and Daddy Pig? Has he changed his name by deed poll? So many unanswered questions.
3) If you were an old man who had the ability to shrink down to pocket size just by taking off your cap, there’s no way that you’d spend the majority of your time at home. I’m looking forward to seeing the episode where Grandpa is caught, and subsequently charged, with being a ‘Peeping Tom’ having been discovered in the female changing rooms at Debenhams.
4) Does Mr Maker’s mum still put all of his crap artwork onto her fridge? Or, has she needed to dedicate an entire room in her house to displaying his creativity considering he’s been making this shit for at least 40 years of his life now?
5) The creators of Ruff Ruff, Tweet and Dave must be pretty bloody lazy and think us parents are stupid. “So, we need names for our characters. We have a dog, a bird and a panda. How about we just call them by the noise they make? So, how about Ruff-Ruff, Tweet and…erm…erm…anyone know what noise a panda makes? No? Ah well, let’s call him Dave and no-one will notice.”
6) Why do Nelly and Nora have a 5 o’clock shadow? Seriously, check it out next time you watch the show. They both have dark patches which run along the bottom of their face. Why do two young girls have what I can only assume is stubble? Are they auditioning for the next Jason Statham film? Are they going through gender reassignment surgery?
7) The Down On The Farm presenting duo of former JLS hunk JB and The Wright Stuff hottie Storm is the strangest double act since Darius Vassell and Michael Ricketts started up-front together for England against Holland in the 2002 International Friendly.
Have you had any of the above thoughts before, or am I just a bit wrong in the head? Are there any other random thoughts you’ve had about kid’s TV shows that you’d add? Let me know below![jetpack_subscription_form subscribe_text=”Like what you’ve read? Want more? Pop in your email to get all of the latest posts.”]