Ah, Peppa Pig. That irritating, brattish, jumped up swine. As a parent, it would seem that the ‘Peppa Pig phase’ is a right of passage, not too dissimilar to other milestones like walking and talking. For us, the pork-based show was one of the first that Toddler L became interested in – perhaps after starring in a Peppa book herself. Now, it’s the first thing she requests when we ask her what she wants to watch.
Although some parents actively prevent their kids from watching it because of the ‘bad’ example it supposedly sets – think whiny, demanding children and a stereotypical view of dads being useless – I don’t mind it too much. Yes, it can be annoying. Yes, it can be shallow. Yes, it can set a poor example. However, it keeps Toddler L entertained (and quiet), which very rarely happens when she’s constantly go, go, go.
It’s hardly surprising to hear that I’ve watched – and secretly enjoyed – a lot of Peppa Pig. Not only does it have hidden humour for the adults, but the storylines are as action-packed as 24 and the characters are as interesting as those in The Sopranos. OK, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but it’s definitely better than anything with Justin Fletcher in.
Peppa Pig can be quite confusing though. Maybe I’m reading too much into what is essentially a preschool show, but not everything adds up to me. I’m therefore left with unanswered questions and wild theories as to what the hell could be going on. Below, you’ll find 10 of my main queries:
10 Unanswered Questions From Watching Peppa Pig
1) How have we not seen an episode where someone has been brutally killed? I don’t mean like a fatal stabbing or a hit and run, I just mean the normal things that’d happen in the wild when you put an assortment of animals together. Remember, we have dogs living with cats, wolves living with sheep and foxes living with rabbits. Natural enemies. Predators and prey. It’s only a matter of time until we catch Mr Wolf with the beheaded carcass of Suzy Sheep hanging out of his mouth.
2) What is it with the Pig family not following the naming conventions of the town? Everyone knows that your kids need to have alliterative names. Candy Cat. Rebecca Rabbit. Zoe Zebra. Danny Dog. Suzy Sheep. Pedro Pony. Kylie Kangaroo. Etc etc etc. They got it right with Peppa Pig, but then failed with George, Chloe and Alexander. Bloody pigs thinking they’re better than everyone else with their wacky non-matching names.
3) Why does no-one seem to be concerned with all of the unexpected falling over that happens? Could this be related to seismic activity in the area, or is it more systematic of widespread neurological disorder which is affecting balance. If it was the latter, I’d have expected Dr Brown Bear to have spotted it, but I fear he is also impacted. If it was me, I’d be ordering everyone in the town down to the local hospital for CT scans.
4) At what point do we start to worry about the next generations? As far as I can tell, there is a definite ‘stay with your kind’ mentality. Pigs with pigs, elephants with elephants etc. I don’t recall seeing an episode where Mr Bull and Madame Gazelle were caught shagging behind the bike sheds. This creates a problem as there’s not enough other animals to go around. Everyone within a particular species is related. Will George and Chloe have to hook up in the future in order to keep the Pig family going? Or are there other towns with unrelated animals who they might meet in the future? The mind boggles.
5) Why does Chloe Pig call her dad “Uncle Pig”? He’s Peppa’s uncle, not hers, so surely Chloe should call him “Daddy Pig”, just like Peppa calls her dad “Daddy Pig”. Or have I stumbled across some kind of weird family secrets which wouldn’t be out of place on Who Do You Think You Are? Perhaps Peppa and Chloe are sisters and Daddy Pig fathered them both, before Chloe was adopted by his brother?
6) The Pigs drive around in a convertible. I have no issue with flash cars, but you can hardly call that a family-friendly mode of transport. For starters, there’s very little boot space for all the kid-related crap they’d need to take with them. Secondly, are you seriously telling me that they can get two car seats into the back of that, particularly when George should have been rear-facing in the earlier episodes? Surely they should sell the convertible and buy a nice saloon or SUV which meets their needs. Bloody Daddy Pig and his (alleged) small penis syndrome.
7) Why are some of the animals in the Peppa Pig universe human-like, when other animals remain just that? The main characters talk, wear clothes, live in houses, drive cars and go to school etc, yet other animals don’t demonstrate any of those traits. Think of the likes of Goldie the goldfish, Mr Skinny Legs the spider, Polly the parrot and those annoying ducks who always turn up at picnics. Why have these creatures not evolved to the same level as some of the others?
8) Despite jumping in muddy puddles being everyone’s favourite game, we rarely see the consequences of this activity. If it was real life, the parents would be endlessly buried under a dirty washing basket, the washing machine would constantly be on and there’d always be washing drying on the line. The only explanation is that they just throw away their clothes each time having bought the exact same clothes in bulk.
9) Is Mr Potato actually a huge, talking potato or is he someone dressed up in a potato outfit? Following on from the last point, it seems weird that some animals haven’t evolved, yet a Maris Piper has got to the point of TV celebrity. If he’s really a potato, how was he created – like the evil experiments in Attack of the Killer Tomatoes? Or if he’s dressed up, who / what is he? Considering she does the majority of the jobs in their world, is it actually Miss Rabbit?
10) Why are the only two human characters in the show Santa and the Queen? Considering that all of the other characters are animals, isn’t it a bit weird that two iconic ‘jobs’ are carried out by humans? Shouldn’t Santa and the Queen be appropriately-themed animals too – perhaps Santa should be a reindeer or polar bear and the Queen a lion, swan or corgi? Is this some kind of Orwellian statement from the writers that humans are always going to be top of the food chain? You might be an anthropomorphic pig, but I could easily turn you into a bloody good bacon sarnie.
So those are 10 of the unanswered questions I have from watching Peppa Pig. Have you ever had any of these thoughts or answers to put my mind at rest? Anything else you ever wonder about from watching Peppa Pig? Let me know below!
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