Express Delivery

I learnt a new pregnancy word the other day.


Normally used in my vocab to explain a Tesco store on the high street, an Italian pizza chain or the daily newspaper, I was strangely disturbed when I found out that my wife will “express” milk from her enlarged bosom.

Don’t get me wrong, I obviously know what breast feeding entails, but having a neatly defined term for the process of producing milk for our little love goblin made everything a tad too real for some reason.

Why does it need it’s own term? Why can’t women just “produce” milk like our animal brethren? Perhaps the word “express” has been created to make the whole human nurturing process less animalistic compared to that of our four-legged friends?

Anyway, after telling everyone I spoke to (people I already knew, not randoms in the streets), refraining from looking at the missus’ breasts in a sexual manner and writing this post, I think I’m just about over it.

I better go find the wife to have an ogle so things can return to normality. They do afterall say face your fears head-on…