Guess What’s In Our Hospital Bags…

The bags are packed and we’re ready to go…

Unfortunately, we won’t be heading to the airport to fly somewhere exotic to top up our tans. Instead, we’ll be going to the dingy setting of a hospital.

Rather than relaxing on a sunbed, Hayley will be lying on a hospital bed with her legs in stirrups. Instead of unwinding in an infinity pool, the missus will be floating in her own grime in a birthing pool. Rather than being surrounded by stunning, bikini-clad babes, my eyes will only have the option of wandering towards the frumpy midwives. Instead of hearing the calming tones of the waves lapping the shoreline, our soundtrack will be heavy breathing and agonised screams. Rather than the sights of beautiful waterfalls and expansive lakes, I’ll be treated to my own personal view of a crimson tide. I could continue, but I won’t as I’ve just been sick in my own mouth…

Anyway, back to the point of this post. I wanted to share with you what we (or should I say, Hay) has packed in our hospital bags. I emptied them earlier, had a rummage, took a photo and then struggled to get everything back in the bags! The below is what I found in the hospital bags:

Baby’s Bag

Baby Pregnancy Bag

The baby stuff is packed and waiting to be worn / used / ruined…

(From left to right, top to bottom)

  • 1 x thin blanket / sheet to keep the baby snug – it can also be thrown away for when the meconium comes!
  • 3 x flannels to be used as muslin cloths and general cleaning
  • 2 x woollen cardigans if the baby is cold – these were knitted by Hay’s auntie
  • 2 x bibs to protect clothes etc from dribble and spit
  • 2 x hats to keep the head warm as baby’s struggle to regulate their heat and lose a lot through their head
  • 1 x Sudocreme to help with any nappy rash or anything else we can run it on
  • 1 x nappy cream (as above, don’t know why we need that and Sudocreme, I’ll ask the missus)
  • 5 x long sleep baby suits to hide the baby’s modesty
  • 1 x pack of newborn nappies because shit happens
  • 1 x pack of baby wipes for freshening up
  • 2 x leggings / trousers if needed
  • 1 x thick blanket in case it is cold
  • 3 x socks to keep the little one’s feet warm
  • 2 x scratch mittens so that she doesn’t scratch herself
  • 1 x pack of cotton wool balls for cleaning


Mum’s Bag

Pregnancy Bag

Hayley’s bag is packed to the limit – she’s taking more than she does on holiday!

(From left to right, top to bottom)

  • 3 x carrier bags, because, you never know…
  • 5 x snack bars to stop us starving and give us a boost
  • 1 x coin bag for the car park and snack / drink machines
  • 2 x crisps for sustenance
  • 1 x bottle of energy drink for that added boost when needed
  • 1 x kindle for entertainment
  • 1 x phone charger to charge all of our kit
  • 1 x polaroid camera to capture the special moments because we’re that retro
  • 1 x thick socks as Hay has poor circulation of her tootsies
  • 2 x nursing bras so she can wap ’em out easily for the baby
  • 4 x BIG, black pants for obvious reasons
  • 1 x cosmetic bag for vanity (see below)
  • 1 x electric fan so that I can feel useful and keep the missus cool
  • 1 x digital camera for photos
  • 1 x pyjama bottoms to protect her modesty
  • 1 x buttoned pyjama top to protect her modesty but also for quick unbuttoning
  • 1 x t-shirt for me, because let’s face it, I’ll be sweaty
  • 1 x tankini for use in the birthing pool
  • 4 x BIG, black pants for obvious reasons (that’s eight in total!  That’s a lot of pants!)
  • 1 x pair of flip flops in case she’s going in the shower etc
  • 1 x pack of maternity pads to soak everything up…
  • 1 x pyjama bottoms to protect her modesty
  • 1 x buttoned down nightie to protect her modesty and for ease when breastfeeding
  • 1 x thin dressing gown in case it gets a bit cold
  • 2 x vest tops for going home / spares
  • 1 x t-shirt for going home / spares
  • 1 x trousers for going home
  • 1 x big towel for drying after shower / birthing pool

Cosmetic Bag

2014-08-04 13.19.09

Stuff we have in the cosmetic bag…

(From left to right, top to bottom)

  • 1 x glasses in case she needs to see
  • 10000 x breast pads for soaking up any leakages
  • 1 x shampoo for washing hair
  • 1 x Witch-Hazel to help with cleaning / healing any areas that may have been destroyed / massacred
  • 1 x hair band to keep hair off her face
  • 1 x dry shampoo for a quick freshen up
  • 1 x deodorant because no-one likes a sweaty woman
  • 1 x toothpaste for cleaning her teeth
  • 1 x nipple cream to soothe any cracks
  • 1 x toothbrush to clean her teeth
  • 3 x straws to help when drinking (at least I hope it is for that!)
  • 1 x conditioner to wash her hair
  • 1 x lip balm because gas and air can easily crack lips (the ones up there that is)
  • 2 x kirby grips because these are the things that women leave everywhere to mark their territory
  • 1 x hair tie to get her hair off her face
  • 1 x shower gel for washing
  • 1 x comb in case there is a photoshoot
  • 1 x make-up bag to feel more human (not shown)

How do are hospital bags stack up to what you are taking or what you took? Is there anything that we’ve missed? Was there any items that you really could have done with but didn’t have? Let me know in the comments below. Thanks for reading 🙂