Are “Push Presents” Pregnancy’s Marmite?

The DADventurer

The wife has recently hinted about something called a “push present”. Like myself, I’m assuming that most British folk reading this post won’t have really heard about the concept before, so let me explain.

A push present is a gift given by the dad to the mum to mark the occasion of her giving birth to their child. Where once a little bundle of joy was all of the present that the doting parents needed, it is becoming more common, particularly in the United States where the concept was devised, that something expensive and sparkly should also be presented upon the arrival of the little one.

It is of little surprise that the country that brought us proms, child beauty pageants and baby showers have thought up another way for the public to spend their hard earned cash in a society becoming increasingly more materialistic. British society has all too easily followed suit with youth of today expecting the “Cribs” and “My Super Sweet 16” lifestyle that is showcased on MTV. This suggests that a push present might not be too far away from being widely expected rather than pleasantly received in the UK.

The nature of the present is open to debate and interpretation. For some, this could be a token gift to say “thanks, well done and I love you”, like some flowers or a bottle of her favourite wine now that she can drink again. For others, this takes the form of something much more expensive, for example, a designer handbag or a diamond ring, to acknowledge the nine months of hell that the wife has gone through.

It probably also depends on your viewpoint. A push present could be viewed as “I’ve gone through considerable hardship to provide you with a baby, now I expect something shiny and expensive in return” or “I appreciate everything you’ve done growing our baby inside you, so I’m going to buy you a present as a surprise and to tell you how much I love you”. Like most things, the context surrounding the idea is key.

The thought of a push present makes sense to me. The missus has gone through a lot of pain and discomfort to successfully bring a child into this world. Yes, the best present you can wish for is a healthy baby, but is it so wrong to give a gift to show your appreciation? I’m not talking a new car or a holiday, but a nice, reasonably priced ring doesn’t offend me too much. After all, she may need a new ring if there are any tears during birth…(sorry!)

The thing I’m more worried about is what to buy. I struggle to come up with gift ideas for Birthdays, Christmases, Valentines’ Days and our Anniversaries already, so the last thing I need is the pressure of getting another great present for the mother of my child. With the baby due in August, I’ve already had to come up with an idea for our Anniversary in June and Hay’s birthday in July. Between you and me, I’m all out of ideas! Add to this the fact that the baby will probably be too lazy to go shopping herself next year, so I’ll have to think about, find and purchase a Mothers’ Day present for her to get Hayley. Babies, eh?!

One thing I am certain about though is that if I want to get Hayley something, I don’t need society telling me what to buy and when to buy it. That is one of the main reasons why I hate the likes of Valentines’ Day. It’s the same with things like the purchase of an engagement ring. It HAS to be a diamond. It HAS to be big. It HAS to be sparkly. Why? Because everyone tells you that it is the way and that we should look to outdo friends and family.

It is open to debate as to whether the push present is a gimmick from the jewellery industry, an idea created by scheming, gold digger mummies , or a bi-product of men becoming more thoughtful and caring now a days (I know, I laughed at the last point too). Either way, the idea of presenting a treasure chest of riches to your partner for popping out a baby appears to be highly divisive.

I put the question to Twitter to see what people’s experiences and expectations were when it came to push presents and was surprised with the response I received.

Some said that their baby was their gift:

Others disliked the concept and would not expect one:

Others welcomed the sentiment, with some receiving a present:

Whereas some people thought there were better ways of spending money and helping your partner:

What is your opinion on push presents?  Would you get one for your better half, and if so, what did you buy? Would you expect one if you were going to give birth?