Choosing Our MILFs and DILFs Sexual Freebie List

Being the progressive, honest and respectful couple that we try to be, the missus and I were talking the other day about other people we’d like to sleep with.

This raised the question about our Freebie List, or Celebrity Free Pass as it is also known. You may not recognise the name, but the idea is pretty well known (thanks to Friends) and very simple to grasp. So simple in fact that their are only two ‘rules’ to the game:

1) Both you and your better half choose five celebrities that you’d like to sleep with

2) If there is an opportunity to sleep with someone on your list, then you can do so without your partner classing it as cheating

Who could disagree that this game isn’t fun? Some may even call it a wholesome family Saturday night game. Next time your, or better still, your partner’s parents round at your house, why not ask them to play along?

Anyway, back to our lists. What we decided to do to make things a bit more interesting was to add a third and fourth rule. I know, I know, you’re not supposed to tinker with things that are already good, but I’m afraid that’s just me. A risk taker. A bad boy. A man that likes to live on the edge. And also a liar it would seem.

Being new parents ourselves we decided to add the following two additional rules:

3) The celebrities must be parents – MILFs (Mums I’d like to f*ck) and DILFs (Dads I’d like to f*ck)

4) One of the five celebrities on the list must be the same gender as the list creator

Why did we add these rules? Well, let me explain. We wanted the celebrities to be parents themselves as they are more likely to understand our situation and be sympathetic – the sleepless nights, the sick on the jumper, the poonamis. The last thing you want when spending time with one of your celebrity crushes is to have an argument or miscommunication because they don’t know why the woman needs to leave the room to express or why the bloke might not last for too long considering the lack of ‘practice’ he’s had with a newborn in the house. We also made the list consist of four people of the opposite sex and one of the same sex. Not really sure why, but it spiced things up a bit. Plus, if you’re going to try gaying it up, you may as well do it with a hot celebrity.

EDIM #4: MILF mikel_ee via Compfight

Without further ado, let me introduce you to our lists and very simplistic reasoning:


Dave’s List

Frankie Bridge (nee Sandford) – Hot, nice body, knows how to move, cool hair.

Rachel Bilson – Cute, hot body, ‘girl next door’ image, fancied her in The Last Kiss.

Mila Kunis – Hot, nice body (particularly up top), come to bed eyes, definitely kinky and would teach me a thing or two.

Zooey Deschanel (technically not a MILF yet as just announced she’s pregnant) – Hot, quirky, sultry, a bit freaky in the sack.

Idris Elba – Cool, rugged, suave, surprisingly gentle.


Hay’s List

Ryan Gosling – Hot, quiet, nice body, Canadian (she likes Canada).

Jamie Dornan (without the rapey / serial killer vibe) – Hot, quiet, nice body, Irish (she likes an Irish accent).

Ben Affleck (with stubble / beard) – Looks good in a suit, quiet, down to earth.

Barack Obama – Just awesome, powerful, cool, suave.

Jessica Ennis – Fit, toned, endurance, down to earth.


So, from that exercise we learnt that I like dark haired girls with cute faces and nice bodies who could be a bit wild in bed, whereas Hay is a sucker for foreigners who don’t talk that often. It’s crazy the things you learn when you share a bit (or a bit too much!).

Would you allow your spouse to sleep with the celebrity of their dreams? Have you and your partner discussed a Freebie List? If so, who did you choose? If you tell me, who knows, I might know someone who knows someone and be able to set it up for you 🙂

Featured image from Anders Pollas via Compfight

Post added to the following awesome linkies:

The ListPost Comment LoveStopping at twoFriday Frolics
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  • Grainne Reid

    Oh this made me giggle! Also made me realise how few celebs I knew, if they were from disney junior I would of known them all (and yes I did know Barach Obama

    • Haha, might have been a bit wrong picking Disney junior people – perhaps a future post?! Thanks, I’ve got flights already booked to where the celebs live 🙂

  • Papa Tont

    I’ve discussed some of mine with you, but my shortlist is:

    1. Becky Mantin. Hot and able to let you know if you need an umbrella.
    2. Susanna Reid. If she preceded Becky it would be the perfect news/weather combo.
    3. Alyson Hannigan. Like warm apple pie.
    4. Sofia Vergara. Hot, funny and full of latin passion, what else do you need?!
    5. Channing Tatum. He could wrap you up in his big muscly arms and cuddle you so tightly.

    • Haha love the Channing comment. Mainly because it is true. Did you see him on Bear Grylls? Well you’ve been in touch with Becky on Twitter, so let me know how you get on 🙂

      • Papa Tont

        I can’t believe I left off Sarah Beeny!!!! I would take off Alyson Hannigan and add Sarah. She’s got a tool belt and knows how to swing a hammer!

  • Larry

    I couldn’t imagine this conversation going well between my wife and I. It’s cool that you and your wife can do this and have fun with it.

  • Emma Hausfrau

    Have you laminated your list?
    Gwen Stefani is top of mine!
    I can’t really think of any men right now…but definitely a handful of women… wonder what that says about me 😉

    • Haha no I haven’t, I learnt my lesson from Friends on that one. Gwen Stefani, good call, although all the Japanese girls that follow her might get in the way (or want to be involved) 🙂

  • We started a freebie list but then my husband got all upset that I was taking it too seriously and then we saw one of the list in an airport and my husband practically mauled me to mark his territory. It was never discussed again.
    Thx for sharing. #TheList

    • Hahahaha, I would have loved to have seen how he reacted in the airport. I guess things got a bit too real 🙂

  • Amy

    Oh I had never considered that they should be parents too but that makes perfect sense, I need to start my list again and inform Mr T to do the same. This is our Saturday night sorted. Thanks.

    • Makes sense, right? I was quite proud of our rule change – made it much more difficult, but kept a sense of realism to a very unrealistic scenario. Hope you had fun making yours 🙂

  • Victoria Welton

    Brilliant! I have to say that Hugh Jackman would definitely make my grade – and I think that Danni Minogue would be on Ross’. I think I will have to share this idea with him! Thank you for linking to #PoCoLo

    • Would that be Hugh Jackman with or without the Wolverine claws haha? Thanks for the linky 🙂

  • You Baby Me Mummy

    Ha ha! Love it, I would have Channing Tatum, Ashley Banjo and Aston Kutcher. Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

    • Ashley Banjo is a good call. In between ‘sessions’ he could teach you how to dance! 🙂

  • Ha ha! The hubby knows if Mr Beckham ever gave me a call i’d be straight off! Oh and Gary Barlow…Justin Timberlake

    (sorry im late popping by #TheList)

    • That’s 3 down 2 to go still – better get your thinking cap on. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  • adayindadslife

    What a great idea to make it milf’s and dilf’s makes it a bit more to think about, I’m gonna discuss this over a glass of wine one night with the wife think I know one on her list straight away lol.

    • Thanks, a bit of a twist on a classic. Good luck – maybe a glass of vodka instead? 🙂

  • Julia Bryson

    Haha I love the mild and diff element, genius, I will have to have this discussion with my husband! He already knows I am a big fan of Gilou from Spiral! #sundaystars

  • stoppingattwo

    Brilliant! My hubby and I don’t have a freebie list but I love your twist on it with celebrity parents.
    Thanks for linking up with #SundayStars

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  • Brilliant.

    Not quite the same thing but I can link myself to the gorgeous Mr Brad Pitt by 7 degrees of separation. Are you ready for this?!

    Brad was in the Mexican with Julia Roberts.
    Julia Roberts was in Notting Hill with Hugh Grant.
    Hugh Grant was in Bridget Jones with Rene Zelleweger.
    Rene Zelleweger was in Down with Love with Ewan Macgreggor.
    Ewan Macgreggor was in Moulin Rouge with kylie Minogue.
    Kylie Minogue was in Neighbours with Jason Donovan.
    I (can’t beleive I am admitting this) screamed my way through a Jason Donovan concert and touched his hand (haven’t washed it since).

    By rights that makes Brad practically my lover.

    Thanks for linking up 🙂 #Friday Frolics

    • Wow – I can’t believe your married to Brad Pitt, that is crazy. Who’d have known?! 🙂

  • Wry Mummy

    Hilarious. I totally agree with the “they have to be parents” thing. I literally would not know what to say if they weren’t. But you weren’t talking’ about talking’…;) “Surprisingly gentle” – HA!

    • Thanks – haha, exactly – becoming a parent changes how you interact with anyone else who isn’t a parent. I think surprisingly gentle is a fair description 🙂

  • This is hilarious! I had a list like this with Peter then I met some stars so he backtracked! x

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