Being the progressive, honest and respectful couple that we try to be, the missus and I were talking the other day about other people we’d like to sleep with.
This raised the question about our Freebie List, or Celebrity Free Pass as it is also known. You may not recognise the name, but the idea is pretty well known (thanks to Friends) and very simple to grasp. So simple in fact that their are only two ‘rules’ to the game:
1) Both you and your better half choose five celebrities that you’d like to sleep with
2) If there is an opportunity to sleep with someone on your list, then you can do so without your partner classing it as cheating
Who could disagree that this game isn’t fun? Some may even call it a wholesome family Saturday night game. Next time your, or better still, your partner’s parents round at your house, why not ask them to play along?
Anyway, back to our lists. What we decided to do to make things a bit more interesting was to add a third and fourth rule. I know, I know, you’re not supposed to tinker with things that are already good, but I’m afraid that’s just me. A risk taker. A bad boy. A man that likes to live on the edge. And also a liar it would seem.
Being new parents ourselves we decided to add the following two additional rules:
3) The celebrities must be parents – MILFs (Mums I’d like to f*ck) and DILFs (Dads I’d like to f*ck)
4) One of the five celebrities on the list must be the same gender as the list creator
Why did we add these rules? Well, let me explain. We wanted the celebrities to be parents themselves as they are more likely to understand our situation and be sympathetic – the sleepless nights, the sick on the jumper, the poonamis. The last thing you want when spending time with one of your celebrity crushes is to have an argument or miscommunication because they don’t know why the woman needs to leave the room to express or why the bloke might not last for too long considering the lack of ‘practice’ he’s had with a newborn in the house. We also made the list consist of four people of the opposite sex and one of the same sex. Not really sure why, but it spiced things up a bit. Plus, if you’re going to try gaying it up, you may as well do it with a hot celebrity.
Without further ado, let me introduce you to our lists and very simplistic reasoning:
Frankie Bridge (nee Sandford) – Hot, nice body, knows how to move, cool hair.
Rachel Bilson – Cute, hot body, ‘girl next door’ image, fancied her in The Last Kiss.
Mila Kunis – Hot, nice body (particularly up top), come to bed eyes, definitely kinky and would teach me a thing or two.
Zooey Deschanel (technically not a MILF yet as just announced she’s pregnant) – Hot, quirky, sultry, a bit freaky in the sack.
Idris Elba – Cool, rugged, suave, surprisingly gentle.
Ryan Gosling – Hot, quiet, nice body, Canadian (she likes Canada).
Jamie Dornan (without the rapey / serial killer vibe) – Hot, quiet, nice body, Irish (she likes an Irish accent).
Ben Affleck (with stubble / beard) – Looks good in a suit, quiet, down to earth.
Barack Obama – Just awesome, powerful, cool, suave.
Jessica Ennis – Fit, toned, endurance, down to earth.
So, from that exercise we learnt that I like dark haired girls with cute faces and nice bodies who could be a bit wild in bed, whereas Hay is a sucker for foreigners who don’t talk that often. It’s crazy the things you learn when you share a bit (or a bit too much!).
Would you allow your spouse to sleep with the celebrity of their dreams? Have you and your partner discussed a Freebie List? If so, who did you choose? If you tell me, who knows, I might know someone who knows someone and be able to set it up for you 🙂
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