OK, I realise that this is a VERY shallow post. I promise that I’m not normally a superficial person, however I understand if I’ve now fallen so far in your estimations that I never recover. For that, I am sorry. I will not apologise though for being a virile, red-blooded male who is at the peak of his game. Oi, what you laughing about…?!
I’ll admit that the mind sometimes wanders when I’m sat watching CBeebies and some of the hotties on screen. I’m guilty of having the occasional child-unfriendly thought pop into my head, which isn’t helped by some of the sexual innuendos which appear in kid’s shows. I’m sure it’s done on purpose.
Judge me all you want, but I can guarantee that you’ve had similar thoughts too. Us blokes are often painted as the sex-hungry gender, but you women are as bad. I’d be happy to bet a large amount of money on the fact that the mums reading this post have thought about how good Mister Maker is with his hands, just how magic Mr Tumble is in the sack or what Mr Bloom’s firm parsnip would feel like.
Back at the start of 2015, I wrote a bit of a random post about our sexual freebie list which included the celebrity MILFs and DILFs who we were ‘allowed’ to sleep with. Well, this post is in a similar vein. For no particular reason – apart from the fact that I can – I decided to list and rate my top 5 CBeebies hotties. What do you reckon to my list below:
5) Puja Panchkoty
In fifth place on the hotties list is Puja who is newcomer to CBeebies having popped up on our screens earlier in 2016 – let’s just say it wasn’t the only thing to pop up. The 26-year old actress, singer and model plays Andy’s Assistant, Jen, at the museum in Andy’s Prehistoric Adventures – yes, that’s right, somehow Andy got promoted despite his incompetence! Jen is a nerdy, tech wizard who helps Andy to get the displays ready in the museum, well when he’s not travelling back in time to hang out with dinosaurs. She’s definitely an upgrade on Andy’s former love interest Hattie. I blame the sexy glasses. She’s welcome to touch my dinosaur bone any day.
4) Anna Acton
For us parents of young kids, Anna is best known as Topsy and Tim’s yummy mummy Joy. However, the 39-year old has appeared all over our screens in things like Doctors, Casualty, Eastenders and The Bill. I really can’t stand the whole premise of the show – it reinforces outdated gender stereotypes and features two annoying ‘twins’ played by actors a lot older than the characters. The only redeeming feature is Joy, who’s definitely a MILF. I’m not the only one who thinks so as the last series saw her preggers. I fully expect the twist to be that the baby is actually DIY Derek’s, who’s been using his hands for more things than just stripping the wallpaper.
3) Storm Huntley
The 29-year old, former weather girl is often found exploring the world of farming in CBeebies’ Down On The Farm, along with JLS heartthrob JB. When she’s not hanging out with cattle, Storm can also be found manning the phones on The Wright Stuff on Channel 5. Be it her Glaswegian accent or girl-next-door looks, Storm could definitely go down on my farm any day…!
2) Rebecca Keatley
For so long, Rebecca had been top of my hotties list, but she’s recently been knocked down to second place – I’m sorry. Rebecca is best known as co-host of dressing up show Let’s Play, but she also presents quite frequently in the CBeebies’ House. In my view, the more she’s on screen, the better. Be it her over-enthusiasm, understated sex-appeal or willingness to get a bit kinky and role play, I’d definitely be happy to play with her in the dressing up room.
1) Maddie Moate
Top of my CBeebies hotties list is YouTuber, presenter and technology enthusiast Maddie who has recently hit our screens with Do You Know?. Not only is the show awesome – think Discovery’s How It’s Made but dumbed down for kids (and parents) – but Maddie brings both brains and beauty to my TV each day. The blonde bombshell has already taught me a lot, but I reckon she could teach me a few more things in the bedroom too – I wonder if she’d video it?
Those are my top 5 CBeebies hotties. It’s been a difficult decision, but I’ve thoroughly enjoyed researching this particular post on Google Images. Do you agree or disagree with my order? Who’d make your list? Have I been harsh to ignore Katy? Let me know below!