Being a parent is all about successfully navigating your kid through various phases and stages in their development. As a once naive dad, I assumed that these phases were pretty simple – your child learns to roll over, crawl, walk and talk, then they leave home at 18 years old (16 if you’re lucky).
The longer I do this parenting thang though, the more I realise that there are so many more stages. In reality, every week sees your kid do something new which could arguably be classed as a milestone. Most of these phases are never talked about though, let alone discussed in the parenting manuals. Why’s that Jo Frost?
We’ve just hit one that I didn’t know existed. I don’t think there’s an official name for it, so I’ve decided to call it the ‘Isn’t Poo Great’ phase of toddlerdom. To clarify, this isn’t related to potty training – although, to be fair, I’ve often thought it’s fantastic as I’ve celebrated Toddler L curling out a turd into the potty.
Instead, I’m referring to the fact that the word “poo” has become the most used term in her vocabulary. I’m yet to do an actual daily tally of the amount of times it’s used, but we’re comfortably in three figures. I’m not sure where she’s got it from, but she loves saying – and shouting – it. The dinner table, in a shop, at the park, at a wedding – no place is off limit for her dung-obsession.
I get the appeal though. Just like farts, crap is bloody hilarious. It’s one of those words which raises a smile. If you’re feeling a little sad, a shit joke will make you feel better – to clarify, I mean a joke about shit, not a shit joke, that’d just depress you more. At the age of 32, I still let out a giggle thanks to toilet humour. It would appear that my daughter is no different – and, judging by my interaction with other kids her age, they’re exactly the same too.
Everything comes down to poo – there’s a Scrubs reference for you to enjoy. Normal conversation. Imaginative play. Nursery rhymes. Toddler ‘jokes’. Insults. All are focused on defecation. Here’s a couple of gems which Toddler L has come out with over the last few weeks:
- “I’ve pooed on your face. Let me wipe it off.”
- “Look, Daddy, the ketchup is having a poo on my plate. HAHAHAHA!”
- “Daddy, do you know you look like a big poo?”
- “Eugh. My crayon is a poo and it’s all in my hand.”
- “Can I have poo and beans on toast for lunch?”
- “Row, row, row your poo gently down the poo…”
- “Mary had a little poo…”
- “5 little poos in a baker’s shop, round and fat with poo on top…”
- “Jelly and poo on a plate…”
- “If you’re happy and you know it clap your poo…”
I mean, hats off to her, some of those are pretty ingenious. I wonder what the next phase will be? Does this sound familiar? Has your kid hit or been through the ‘isn’t poo great’ phase? Or does this say more about my parenting…? Let me know below!